Al B. Hard does it Pony Style

I needed to retrieve my member number and update my info with REI, and I noticed this convenient link to their Live Help feature on the Member Help page. I’ve always been a little skeptical of these things, but I figured I’d give it a shot. Here is a transcript of the end of our conversation:

Carolyn L: (Your replacement membership card should arrive in two to three weeks. Your member number will remain the same.)
Carolyn L: Is there anything else I can help you with this afternoon?
Me: My girlfriend, who lives in Seattle, is requesting a sandwich. I don’t suppose there is anything you can do?
Carolyn L: *grin* Unfortunately, that service is beyond my reach.
Carolyn L: I can make some good deli recommendations thought.
Me: Well, I appreciate your help at any rate
Me: I think she’s going to Red Line if she can ever get off the couch
Carolyn L: *grin* That’s a good place.

Clearly, my skepticism was misplaced. This is a wonderful service! I might just chat them up the next time I need something. Even if they can’t help, at least they’ll be friendly about it.

Dear reader,

If you value your hair at all, do not use CVS Vitamin Shampoo Truly Clean™!

I made the mistake of thinking it would be similar to the Target brand (which is itself similar to the Pantene brand). I could not have been more wrong. It would have at least been prudent to smell the contents of the bottle before committing to the purchase, but no. I made an assumption.

And now, I am wallowing in the results of this series of poor decisions. In my cubicle at work, I stew, surrounded by nothing but the “fragrance” of my own hair. It is terrible. If only there were some way to transcribe the smell, you could understand the pain I am feeling right now. Perhaps it is for the best that there is no such means yet devised. The Internet is already smelly enough.

This is the beginning of great things; be sure of that. Tomorrow I take delivery of a collection of about five thousand records. I’m adding those to my own collection, which numbers about 1500 at this point, by estimation.

2006 is the year, people.